QUICK RANT

I cant stand when people with NO major responsibilities try to give you lessons on responsibility...the type of people that always know what to do, but cant seem to apply it to their own damn life...its like the dudes who sit at home watching football, and complain about what a player did wrong and how they could do better...knowing damn well they couldn't even score a touchdown in a JV high school football game, let alone ball-out in the NFL...definition of a backseat driver.

And it really irks me when someone is a total DOUCHE BAG in their approach to "giving advice"; it severely devalues the message...people that are GENUINELY trying to give helpful advice, should have enough knowledge to understand that you cant reach people when you FUSS...talk to me, not at me...because I will quickly tune a mofo out...they will be talking like the Charlie Brown teacher "WAHHH-WAH WAH-WAHWAH-WAH, WAHWAH WAH WAHWA"

Plus, there are many situations that a person cant honestly be mad at someone for not doing the "right" thing...especially when they themselves have never been in that situation...because what's right for you, doesn't have to be whats right for me....their are some things that are universally WRONG (ie mistreating children, killing for no reason, etc...), but most things depend on the person and circumstance...it's like someone telling a person that's been raped, that they shouldn't let it have such an impact on their life and basically"get over it"...*blank stare*...where people find the nerves, I will never understand...if you cant empathize with certain situations and/or give HELPFUL advice than just SHUT THE HELL UP!

*end rant*

DRIVERS I CAN'T STAND

1.) The 'I like to jump over at the last minute and, almost or do, cause accidents' driver:

This type of driver presses my 'Cuss Button'. What makes the fucktard think it's OK to jump directly in front of a moving vehicle going 65mph or more??? Dumb as rocks. After an encounter with this type I can be seen fuming from miles away. So much steam comes out of my ears other drivers probably think my car is overheating. If you have a death wish that's fine, but don't involve me or my child. Dummy.

2.)The 'I speed up when I see you trying to get over' driver:

Some people are just 'JACKASSES'. Simple as that. Do they view driving as a video game? And, if you get in front of them they lose points? Do they think they are president of that lane or something? People really irk me.

3.) The 'I'm headed nowhere fast' driver:

This driver is riding behind you, but obviously you are going to slow so they zoom around you. You lose sight of them but a short while later you pull up right beside them at a light. Once the light changes they pull into the McDonald's drive thru. Really? You did all that to be in the same place as me. And on top of that you were in a rush to get a 'heart attack combo'. Dumb.

4.) The 'Make me miss the light' driver:

Ohhhhhh, this driver works my last nerve. They see the hand flashing for the crosswalk so they know the light is going to change soon. So what do they do? They dumb ass slow down. URRRGH. Most of the time they make the light but you're left sitting there. Make me want to catch up with them, get infront of them, and make them miss every light. Sheew. Make me sick.

5.)The 'I do something illegal and almost hit you but I don't give the courtesy wave to show I accept responsibility' driver:

When we are in the car the only way to communicate with other drivers is the horn or signals. So if you make a bullshit move that almost causes some sort-of mishap, it is only polite that you look through your rear view mirror or stick your hand out the window, and give the 'oops my bad' wave. If you don't know or use that rule you shouldn't be driving. Rude ass.

6.)The 'I'm a just squeeze through' driver:

This is the type of driver that may or may not directly effect you. But, to see them in action leaves a bad taste in your mouth and makes you think "What the fuck were you thinking". These are the types of people that some how feel like their car went on a diet and it is now smaller than when they bought it. I look at them like "You know damn well you cant squeeze into that spot" or "You know damn well your car cant fit between that other car and the curb"...But somehow they feel like they have the incredible shrinking car and they can make impossible moves. And although the end results can be hilarious, the fact that they we're that stupid is quite irritating.

AGONY

What do you do when you're screaming in someones ear, but they still don't hear you? You stand in front of them and wave a white flag, yet they continue to hold you captive. Your cries and pleas fall on death ears. Your apologizes are treated like fuck-yous. What do you do when what used to be so sweet, is now rancid? Deep conversations turn into trivial chat. How do you accept the fact that you are the cause? You took their kindness for weakness, and love for granted. You were once the cold-hearted warden of the prison in which you kept their heart. Doing as you pleased, with no regard to their needs. No longer able to stand the abuse, although apprehensive and unsure, they escape. Free from you. Free from the torture of nothing ever being right. What do you do when it seems like their better off with out you? Without them you struggle. You search, but cant find anything that can even come close. Lonesome. How do you cope with the realization that you are not in control. Disarmed and vulnerable. How do you deal with the possibility that things wont get better over time. You begin to forget, then your reminded. A word. A look. A place. Dry streaks become brand new streams of tears. Heartache. You take it as a learning experience, but don't want your new found skills used on anyone else. Stuck. You try to be silent and wait. Patience is a virtue, right? But just one day seems like week's. You continue to ask yourself why you were such a fool. You've heard 'you don't know what you got, till its gone' a thousand times. Why didn't you actively listen? Now all you hear is silence.

CASUAL NITE OUT...

Forever 21...cute clothes, with sensible prices

JACKET...$29.80
PANTS...$22.80
SHOES...&19.80
SHIRT...$17.80
EARRINGS...$3.80
BRACELET...$4.80

This outfit would be nice if your going out to dinner with the ladies or something like that....the blue shoes are for those who are into fashion and can carry an 'eye-popping' look off.

OR

BCBG....great clothes, if you're willing to spend a few extra $'s

DRESS...$198

SHOES (ALDO)....$135

CLUTCH (ALDO)....$40

OR

Torrid, if you're workin wit a some extra weight

TUBE JUMPER...$58

SHOES (ALDO)...$110

BRACELET (NORDSTROM'S)...$58

NECKLACE (ALDO)...$40

CLUTCH(ALDO)...$35

I HAVE AN ADDICTION...

I'm addicted to nachos. I love them. I can eat them everyday. Those crunchy tortilla chips, that juicy meat, 'good for your heart' beans, the intoxicating cheese, crispity lettuce, undefinable sour cream, exotic salsa, and 'muy caliente' jalapenos;

makes my mouth water. A montage of goodness on one plate, dancing with each other in perfect harmony. A work of art. Who ever created nachos needs to be given some type of "Lifetime Achievement" or "Humanity" award. For they have truly contributed something great to society.

My heart sank when I went to the "Elephant Bar" (a restaurant) and discovered that they had taken the nachos off of the sampler platter. I was crushed. As a result the dish I was forced to order tasted like quicksand. Before leaving I had a word with the manager about my tragic experience. He informed me that they sold a different (aka weird) kind of nacho separately. He must have seen the pain in my eye's, because he said the next time I came they would specially make the original kind for me. And if he wasn't there, to tell whomever that Mark said it was okay. My hero.

Well, off to make some nachos.

UPDATE: CASTER SEMENYA

Ok, so my joke was sort of right...she is man and woman aka hermaphrodite...let's see how this plays out.

(original post posted below)

LOVE...

I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago and I'm just now sorta-kinda getting over it. I swear our break-up has been so mentally draining. I will be single for awhile. Which is sad to me because I love, love. There is nothing like having someone that you can feel, but not touch. There is nothing like having someone that nobody else has, the way you have. There is nothing like looking into someones eyes and wanting to stay there forever, frozen in time. So opposite, yet so much the same. But, sadly and gladly all things change. The only love that surpasses is a Mother's love. What a love. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I am from which he came. 9 months he grew inside of me. A bond that cant be broken. So pure. So undeniable. A part of my heart will forever be on the outside. Amazing. My son. He knows I will protect him, yet he feels the need to protect me. It hurts me that he feels my pain. But he can't help it. When he feels it he tries his best to make it go away. A kiss. A hug. A joke, "Mama you farted" as he burst into laughter. A piece of tissue to wipe the tears away. The man that will forever be in my life. No words can express. I would give my life for his. He is my inspiration; he has no idea. The breaths he takes as he sleeps keeps me going. My Angel.

It's funny how loss can make you realize what you have. What you need. What's important. There is no joy without pain. I can't wait to see what the day brings. Eventually things will be just right. Go wrong. Then go right again. Life's flow; life's poetry. So Beautiful. So Tragic. We struggle and fight to live because of the glimpse of light we see through the storm. Deep down we know that this life may not be the best, but it is what we were giving. A gift.

It's funny how your heart can sporadically pour out it's emotions. Peace. Be blessed.