AGONY

What do you do when you're screaming in someones ear, but they still don't hear you? You stand in front of them and wave a white flag, yet they continue to hold you captive. Your cries and pleas fall on death ears. Your apologizes are treated like fuck-yous. What do you do when what used to be so sweet, is now rancid? Deep conversations turn into trivial chat. How do you accept the fact that you are the cause? You took their kindness for weakness, and love for granted. You were once the cold-hearted warden of the prison in which you kept their heart. Doing as you pleased, with no regard to their needs. No longer able to stand the abuse, although apprehensive and unsure, they escape. Free from you. Free from the torture of nothing ever being right. What do you do when it seems like their better off with out you? Without them you struggle. You search, but cant find anything that can even come close. Lonesome. How do you cope with the realization that you are not in control. Disarmed and vulnerable. How do you deal with the possibility that things wont get better over time. You begin to forget, then your reminded. A word. A look. A place. Dry streaks become brand new streams of tears. Heartache. You take it as a learning experience, but don't want your new found skills used on anyone else. Stuck. You try to be silent and wait. Patience is a virtue, right? But just one day seems like week's. You continue to ask yourself why you were such a fool. You've heard 'you don't know what you got, till its gone' a thousand times. Why didn't you actively listen? Now all you hear is silence.